Shay's Dream
by MCJMS
Summary: After a dream about telling Dawson how she really feels, Shay's torn between telling her the truth and possibly losing their friendship, or not telling her, keeping their friendship together but always thinking 'What if'
1. Chapter 1

"Hey….I gotta talk to you" Shay said surprised by her own confidence as she approached her partner who was in the middle of inventory

"What's up?" Dawson asked looking up from her clipboard

"There's something I should have told you a long time ago…"

"Leslie Elizabeth Shay, are you coming out of the closet?" Dawson asked faking shock but not being able to keep a smile off her face

"You caught me, Dawson, I'm a big old dyke" Shay laughed "Seriously though I need to talk to you" she said closing the rear doors of the ambulance behind her as she climbed into the back

"Everything ok?" Dawson asked, suddenly worried that there was something serious going on with Shay

"Yeah…well…kind of…I just need to finally be honest with you about something"

Dawson put down the clipboard, turned her body slightly and looked the blonde dead in the eye "What's that?"

"Its….I love you" Shay suddenly blurted out while mentally she was still trying to choose her words. _What the fuck am I doing? It's true but I seriously couldn't think of a better way of doing that? _She thought to herself

Dawson smiled "Duh, I love you too, Shay"

"No…" Shay said firmly "I know you _love_ me, and I know you know I _love_ you but I mean I'm _in love _with you"

"What?" Dawson asked shocked at what she had just heard

"I'm sorry…I don't know when it happened, and I know it's totally wrong….and…I just…I don't know what to tell you, but I love you, and I'm sorry I feel this way but you have the right to know…even if it's wrong on so many levels. You're my

best friend, and you're straight"

"I'm not that straight" Dawson said suddenly glancing down at the floor of the ambulance

"Wait…what?" Shay asked, her voice full of anticipation

"I've…I've kinda had a little girl crush on you for a while" Dawson said glancing up at Shay before looking back at the floor

"Don't fuck with me" Shay said firmly, with a hint of a smile on her face

"I'm serious….I just never thought I'd admit it….but since you're being honest I need to be also"

Shay extended her hand and lifted Dawson's chin so she could look her in the eye "Is that really true?"

Dawson nodded and bit her lower lip "Yeah…"

"So what do we do from here? Do we…."

"You kiss me" Dawson interrupted her partner

With that, Shay leaned forward and just as their lips met, she awoke from her dream. It was all a dream, she was in bed, at home, alone.

"Son of a bitch" Shay said out loud to herself, before rolling over and hugging her pillow tight to her body. Although she would never admit it out loud, she had spent many nights hugging that pillow and imagining it was Dawson, and tonight was going to just be another one of those nights


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the short chapter, but I'll be updating again very soon!

Thank you for the reviews/follows etc. I appreciate them all!

_I woke up this morning hugging my pillow like I did most mornings, it was hard some nights to fall asleep, especially after one of those days at work, and the only thing that seemed to comfort me was holding my pillow tight to my body and imagining what it would be like to be able to hold Gabriela that way every night. Since 9 nights out of 10 I would fall asleep thinking about her, I would dream about this on a regular basis, only to wake up to the disappointment of it all being in my head. The sadness and near shame that would come over me in the mornings as I blinked my eyes open and realized it was a dream, was almost unbearable at times but knowing I would see her at work each day would take most of that pain away. It was, obviously, still a terrible feeling to know I would never have her the way I wanted her, but I at least had her as a best friend, and she was one hell of a best friend. I never got into the whole 'BFF' shit when I was growing up and going through school, but as soon as I met Gabriela we hit it off, and it wasn't long until i realized I actually did have a 'BFF' now. That's where the shame comes in. I fell into the stereotype, the one I swore I would never fall into. The lesbian who falls for her best friend. I swore to myself from the day I came out of the closet as a teenager, that I would never be 'that chick' but now I was. I don't know when it happened, or exactly what it was that made my feelings change. Her getting me through my break up with Clarice was probably the biggest single event, but it was much, much more then that. It was everything she did. The way she chewed on her lower lip softly while she was deep in thought, the way she would look at me with that sweet smile on her face, the way she'd call me by my full name when she was faking anger or shock, the way…..the way she did everything. Every quality and trait I've ever wanted in a woman is possessed by Gabriela Dawson, and then some, but she's not gay. My name's Leslie Shay, and I'm in love with my straight best friend_

"Morning" Severide greeted me when I walked into the kitchen

"Coffee….now" I grunted, my hand on my head reaching for my coffee mug

"Headache?"

"Long night"

"Hangover?"

"I was home all night, how would I be hung over?" I snapped

"Shit, sorry since when did you get so touchy"

"Whatever" I said as I made my coffee and started drinking it "I'll be good when this kicks in"

"Rough night?"

I rolled my eyes, wishing he would just stop asking me questions because the fact of the matter was I couldn't sleep for one silly reason and one silly reason only. It had nothing to do with the suicide call we had gone on the day before, or with the woman we had treated right after that who had the crap beaten out of her by her boyfriend and refused to press charges, and it didn't even have anything to do with those teenagers we treated who had that car accident because their one idiot friend decided it would be fun to drive like he was in NASCAR. It had everything to do with Dawson. After I had that dream about telling her how I felt about her, I couldn't get back to sleep until maybe a half hour before my alarm went off. After waking from that dream, it was the first time ever I was really tempted to tell her how I feel. I would always fight with my feelings, reminding myself that she's straight, and she's with Mills even if I'm pretty sure that's just a sex thing...

"Rough night?" He repeated snapping me out of my own thoughts

"Yeah….couldn't sleep….I'm gonna shower"

He nodded silently, and I could tell that he knew I was brushing him but I was still in my own world.

As I showered my mind wandered more and more. and I started to think _why_. Why couldn't I tell her how I really feel? I mean obviously there was the fact that she was straight, but we had always promised each other that we would tell each other everything, and never lie to each other. Meanwhile, I had been lying to her for so long by not telling her. My reasoning for not telling her was fear that she would push me away once she heard that I had feelings for her, but realistically, I know her better then that and I really doubt that she would push me away for something like that. She knew I was gay, and she was completely accepting of it, she got me through my break up with Clarice, and she had always been there for me throughout everything, and vice versa, why would something as simple as me having a crush on her change everything? It wouldn't undo everything we had built together, would it? What if it did? My mind started to race running through all the possible worst case scenarios. What if me having a crush on her freaked her out? What if she decided she didn't want to work with me anymore? She might think whenever I looked at her I was undressing her with my eyes even though in reality all I was really doing was admiring how beautiful she is. I didn't want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable with me, because just being best friends with her was obviously a thousand times better then not having her in my life at all, even if it meant I would have to keep my mouth shut and continue to hide the truth from her. My mind continued to be a battlefield between the side of me that felt i should tell her the truth, and the side that wanted to continue to hide it to avoid risking our friendship. Finally, I made up my mind. I was going to tell her the truth by the end of the week, I just needed to figure out the right way of doing so


	3. Chapter 3

"Morning sunshine" Dawson said as she made her way over to the ambulance while I was starting our morning inventory

"Morning" I looked up at her with a smile "Ready for another day in paradise?"

She laughed "Always. I'm gonna run upstairs and change real quick then I'll be back to help you with that"

I nodded "Take your time…."

Just as the words left my mouth, I was interrupted by the alarm going off, calling us out to a possible stroke

"Guess I'm changing in the ambo" she rolled her eyes and climbing into the back.

"Welcome to paradise" I said as I made my way into the drivers seat and we headed out.

"How was your night?" She asked from the back of the ambulance on the way

"Alright" I said "Couldn't sleep though so once this ones done I need to grab some more coffee"

"Up all night with one of your women?" she laughed, emerging from the back of the rig straightening out her uniform

"Nah, just couldn't get to sleep. Actually haven't had any women over in a while"

"Girl stop lyin' you just did last week, you told me about it"

"Oh…yeah that one doesn't count" I couldn't help but laugh at myself for having completely forgotten about the cute brunette I had pretty much accidentally picked up at a bar a week ago

"Leslie Elizabeth Shay, if you can't remember their names at least remember that they existed" she giggled

"Slipped my mind….obviously, she wasn't any good" I laughed

"I won't even ask"

"Good, cause I wouldn't remember anyway"

We laughed and playfully poked fun at each other until we arrived at the apartment building we had been called to. We found our victim, who definitely did have a stroke but it appeared to be a minor one. After transporting him to the hospital we weren't even done with our paperwork when we got called out again to meet up with the guys at a car accident scene. From one call to the next became the story of our day, we even got called out during our dinner break to go on yet another run. Finally, at 10:30 at night, things seemed to be quieting down. We only had 30 minutes left in our shift and we both had our fingers crossed that we wouldn't get called out again

"What a day….again" Dawson said

"Yeah…."

"Hey" she cut me off "I know it's been a crazy day and all, but are you okay? You seem a little off…and I know you said you didn't get much sleep last night. Everything cool?"

"What? Yeah" I nodded "I'm ok….just a little tired"

"You sure?"

"Yeah….I'm good, Gabs. Don't worry"

The way she looked at me, I could tell she was still skeptical, she always could read me better then I could read myself pretty much, but this time I wasn't going to tell her what was really on my mind. Not right now. I needed to do it when we were off the clock, one on one with no other distractions around. I was trying to build up my courage enough to ask her if she wanted to grab a drink after work so we could talk then, but for some reason I couldn't even ask her that. We always went out after shift, at least a couple times a week. Whether it was a late dinner together or a couple drinks, or even just going back to one of our places to watch some TV together, but because I knew that this time I had a different reason for wanting to go somewhere after work, I couldn't bring myself to asking her. Probably because I felt like once I asked her, she would definitely accept, and then I would have no choice but to tell her the truth tonight, and I still wasn't 100% sure I was ready

"You're zoned out again" She laughed, her voice shook me out of my own thoughts

"Sorry…lack of sleep" I smiled "You ever get jealous of the guys?" I motioned towards the fire truck we were standing next to "Less runs in a day and then they come back here and relax in between them, where we basically leave in the morning and don't get back here the rest of the day?"

"All the damn time" she laughed

_"Ambulance 61, Squad 3, Truck 81. Motor Vehicle Accident, corner of 41 and Kennedy. Possible entrapment" _

"You've got to be shitting me" I said letting out a deep sigh

"Another day in paradise huh? You jinxed us, you know…fuck paradise…I wanna go homeeee" she whined

"You're cute" I smiled, tempted once again to tell her how I felt right then, but we had a job to do, and it had to wait….plus I was still too chicken shit to actually say it anyway.

* * *

"What a day, huh?" I said opening my locker when we returned to the station from our last run

"Yeah…glad it's finally over I'm exhausted" Dawson responded

"Same here….Hey, are…uh…are you doing anything after work tomorrow?"

She shook her head "Nah, what's up?"

"Maybe we grab a bite or a drink or something after shift tomorrow?"

"Anything for you" she winked "You wanna go tonight actually I'm pretty hungry"

"I can't" I answered instantly, nearly in a panic. I knew what I wanted to say to her, but it had taken me the entire day just to build up the courage to ask her to go to dinner so I could have that conversation with her. I needed a lot more prep-time "Sorry" I continued, noticing a slightly shocked look on her face "I have to get a couple things done when I get home"

"It's ok. Tomorrow it is….I'm thinking dinner…and remember I'm not a cheap date like one of your women" she winked, flashing me that gorgeous smile of hers while tucking her silky dark hair behind her ear. If only she knew how desperately I wanted it to be a real date.

"Tomorrow it is" I smiled back, doing my best to not stare at her for too long before I headed out of the station.

As I made my way to my car, it was finally starting to set in that now, I was finally going to tell Dawson how I felt the following night. I finally realized that it was time to tell her the truth when something that should be so easy, like asking her if she wanted to grab dinner, suddenly was becoming hard because I was trying so hard to hide my true feelings. It was time, I was finally going to tell her, now all I had to do was not chicken out in the next 24 hours and I would at least finally have my answer, and never have to wonder 'what if?' anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**The start of this chapter is the same as the very end of the previous chapter, just from Dawson's POV instead of Shay's. Hope everyone enjoys!  
**

"What a day, huh?" Shay asked, roughly opening her locker

"Yeah…glad it's finally over, I'm exhausted" I answered as I started to change out of my uniform

"Same here…hey, are…uh…are you doing anything after work tomorrow?" Shay asked slightly biting her lip as she unbuttoned her uniform shirt

"Nah, what's up?"

"Maybe we grab a bite..or a drink or something after shift tomorrow?"

"Anything for you" I winked, more then a little curious as to why she was being a little shady. We hung out a few times a week after our shift and never once did she seem awkward when asking me to go somewhere with her "You wanna go tonight actually? I'm pretty hungry"

"I can't" she answered in a split second, her voice cracked. After a pause where she must have read the confused look on my face, she continued "Sorry….I have to get a couple things done when I get home"

"It's ok. Tomorrow it is…I'm thinking dinner, and remember I'm not a cheap date like one of your women" I smiled back at her, still wondering why the hell she was seeming so shady this time. I figured she wanted to talk about something, and I just had my fingers crossed that it wasn't anything about Clarice. The woman who came back around after disappearing from her life for years, just to fuck with Shay's emotions yet again.

"Tomorrow it is" she smiled back before throwing her bag over her shoulder and heading out of the locker room

"The hell was that about?" I said out loud to myself while I finished changing. As I walked out of the station and to my car, I started to run through different scenarios in my head of what she could possibly want to talk about that had her acting so different. My gut told me it had to be Clarice. Leslie Shay never was one to get all that emotional about much of anything, but Clarice broke her years ago, and broke her again when she left for New York. Some time had passed since then, and Shay was, seemingly, doing much better with the break up this time. As much as she played it off, though, I knew it was still bothering her. I obviously had plenty of friends go through breakups that i was sympathetic to, and did what I could to help, but for Shay I would have done anything. She deserved so much better then she got with that bitch, Clarice. Shay was one of those people who would do anything she possibly could to help those she cared about. The "tough chick" exterior was there, but knowing her as well as I do I knew she was a softie under it.

* * *

While I was heading home Mills called and invited me over. I didn't really feel like going but I figured I might as well. Even while I was there I kept thinking back to how strange Shay was acting

"Something bothering you tonight?" He asked

"What?" I asked snapping out of it

"Is something bothering you tonight?" he repeated

I told him it was nothing, but I guess i kept zoning out throughout the night so he kept asking. Finally I gave in and answered him

"Shay was acting weird today…at the end of shift. I'm just worried somethings bothering her"

"Ah, okay….she didn't say anything about it?"

I shook my head "No…she wants to go out after work tomorrow, though"

"Thats good, you can find out then"

I shrugged "I guess…I just don't get why she's been acting so weird"

"Maybe she has a crush on you" Mills said "I mean how could she not"

"Don't try to flatter me, Peter Mills"

_That couldn't be the case, could it? We were best friends, I would have known if she liked me that way, wouldn't I? I guess I did catch her staring at me once in a while…but I never thought much of that. Could it work between us if that was the case? Wait a minute, why am I even thinking this? She's gay, I'm not….well…I'm not gay…although I really don't identify as straight or bisexual either I considered myself pansexual, someone who fell in love with personalities above all else. I just never made that public knowledge to anyone. Not even Shay. _

"You okay?" Mills asked, I could tell he was getting a little frustrated with my zoning out

"Yeah…."

He laughed "Maybe you have a crush on her, you seem to be daydreaming about her all night so far"

"Maybe I do" I said, unsure if my words surprised Mills or myself more

"What?" He asked, his face twisting into a smile which made it appear that he thought I was joking

"Sorry…I should probably go" I said picking up my purse "I'm really sorry, I just need to figure out what the hell is going on"

I made my way out of his place and wasn't sure if I wanted to go straight to Shay's and see what the story with her was, or if I should go home, take some time to myself and figure things out a bit. I decided it was probably better to go home, Shay did say she had things to do after work and I didn't want to seem like a stalker chick waiting on her porch for her to get home. Especially when I couldn't figure out what was going on in my own head.

* * *

After getting home, I had a hard time falling asleep with my mind racing through all the different emotions and scenarios. It wasn't long after I finally did manage to fall asleep that my alarm woke me up for another day of work. The same thoughts swirled around in my head as I got ready, as I made my way to work, and still are swirling while I'm here stocking the ambulance for shift. _This can't work…could it? Hell, she probably doesn't even feel that way about me, she's always talked about the whole 'lesbian stereotype' of falling for your best straight friend and how she wasn't a stereotype…blah blah blah…_

"Hey…can we talk?" She suddenly appeared at the back of the ambulance, just as I was thinking of her

"Holy shit..you scared me"

"Sorry" she smiled shyly, looking at the floor

"It's ok…sure…what's up?"

"Outside?" she said nodding towards the station doors

"Sure, of course" I said, almost positive my voice was suddenly higher then it usually was

I followed her outside of the station, she made sure the door closed behind me and then looked around, obviously checking to see if anyone else was outside. I knew she was finally going to tell me what had been on her mind and I braced myself for some possibly earth shaking news. Maybe the blood tests on that homeless guy that pricked her with the needle was a false negative, maybe it had to do with Clarice…maybe it was a family thing.

"What's going on, Shay? What's wrong?"

She looked up from the ground she had been staring down at, deep into my eyes and I felt a surprising urge to kiss her, but I didn't.

"Gabriela" She started, my heart fluttered as she called me by first name. I nodded silently "Mhm?" was all I managed to get out

"I've….uh..I haven't been completely honest with you…for a, um, for a long time"

"What's wrong?"

"I really hope this doesn't change anything between us…but you deserve to hear the truth" her voice shook as she looked like she was about to cry

"Leslie, talk to me, girl"

"Trying to build up my courage to say it…."

After a long pause, suddenly she continued as if she was trying to string together as many words as possible as fast as she could

"Gabriela I fell in love with you a long time ago and I'm really really sorry I wish I could change how I feel, I know it's horrible and…."

I think my jaw literally dropped at her admission. I had been thinking of it as a possibility obviously, but I never thought it was a realistic possibility.

She continued, still in the same breath "…you shouldn't have to deal with this cause you're straight…"

"I'm not that straight" I said, shocking myself that I was able to speak up

She suddenly went silent and looked at me, her eyebrows raised "Don't you fuck with me, Gabriela…"

Now it was my turn to act like a shy little school girl barely able to make eye contact "I'm…I'm not fucking with you…You love me?"

She nodded "Yeah…I love you"

I took a deep breath, I had to say it back. I was never great at saying 'I love you' but this time I really was going to mean it for probably the first time in my life "I love you, Leslie"

"Holy shit" she muttered under her breath "Holy fucking shit"

"What….what do we do about it?" I asked

Now it was the Shay I was used to staring back at me, confident Shay. She had a smile on her face, her eyes focused on my lips as she placed her hands on my hips, gently leaning me against the firehouse wall. I licked my lips in anticipation, and could feel my heart ready to jump out of my chest. Without saying a word, she leaned forward and kissed me. Her lips were so soft, her hands so firm on my hips. For being the first time I had ever kissed a girl, I never had a first kiss that felt so _right_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry this chapters pretty short, it's basically just setting up the next one, which should be a fairly long one. Let me know what you think! Enjoy **

_What the hell possessed me to go tell Dawson how I really felt as soon as I walked into the firehouse this morning, I have no fucking idea. I had planned on telling her everything after our shift was over at dinner, but I knew if I waited I'd be nervous about it all fucking day. Better to just get it over with, plus, if she didn't react well now I'd have all day to apologize and explain myself to her since it wasn't like she could go anywhere without me while we were on the clock. Thankfully, I didn't need to apologize, or explain myself, she not only took it well, but told me she loved me, which I really wasn't expecting…it's exactly what I was hoping for, but I wouldn't let myself believe it was a possibility so I wouldn't be too disappointed in the outcome. When I kissed her, her lips were so soft, and everything going on in the outside world just melted away. After we kissed we agreed to talk more about everything after work, since we knew it wasn't something to talk about around the guys….considering they were all about as mature as a group of 6th grade boys. Now we were in the ambulance, on the way back from a call, and it was a little awkwardly quiet, especially considering how hilarious the last call was. Drunk, loudmouth high school kid got himself stuck in his zipper….yeah, THAT zipper. Just thinking of it had me laughing to myself again _

"What's so funny?" Dawson asked, glancing over at me before turning her attention back to the road and laughing "Drunk kid? You've seen more guys junk then the average lesbian haven't you?"

"The one thing I hate about this job" I laughed

"I hear ya…I'm not a fan of it either"

"And up until today you were straight" I said, half joking, half trying to bring the subject up because I was still, obviously, confused

She smiled "Guess we're talking about this now?"

"Sorry…"

"No, I'm just kidding, it's fine. I know you're probably confused as hell, right?"

I nodded "Yeah…I mean…you know, a little"

"Yeah….it's like you said, that you hadn't been completely honest about things….same goes for me. I never was completely honest with you about my sexuality. I consider myself pansexual…not straight, not gay, not bisexual. I always pretty much knew that was the case…that I fall in love with the person, not the gender, .but I just never bothered to 'come out' about it because I had always felt the connection with men until" she took a long pause and I realized she was blushing "till you" she continued shyly.

Just hearing her say that made my heart skipped a beat "How long ago did you start, uh, feeling that way about me?"

"Honestly….it's been a while, I just have been afraid to admit it even to myself. What about you?"

"At the risk of sounding like a total fucking sap, I had feelings for you almost since I first met you, I just pushed it aside, being that I never knew there was a chance..as far as I knew you were straight and I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position"

"What made you finally tell me?"

"Two things" I said after a brief pause to make sure I had finished everything up on the paperwork I had been filling out "One, I didn't want to feel like I was lying to you anymore. Two, I just couldn't keep it in anymore…it was starting to really wear on me and I, uh, I was just falling deeper"

"I didn't know a woman of your complexion could blush as much as you are right now" I laughed

"You're cute" she giggled "This is pretty crazy though huh? In a good way…I just mean, you know, how much things changed so quickly"

"Yeah…I think we should keep this quiet though…like we said earlier, when we're around the station. The guys will never let us hear the end of it if they find out"

"Oh, hell yeah. Last thing we need is to have them asking all kinds of questions"

"You'll get used to that, Gab, guys always have stupid questions for girls who are into girls"

"I'll refer any questions to you, considering you have way more experience"

"Oh isn't that nice of you" I said rolling my eyes trying to fake disgust, but I couldn't fake anything considering it was probably the happiest day of my life.

"Well it's true, which reminds me. Remember what I said last night. When we go out after shift tonight, I ain't a cheap date like one of your little skanks" she laughed, clearly also not able to fake any other emotions today either

"Only the best for you, that goes without saying. You're worth it….hey you're blushing again. seriously Gabby, do you have any idea how cute you are?"

She giggled "I'm cute! I'm cute! You said I'm cute!"

It took me a minute to realize what she was quoting, but it came to me "Seriously Dawson? You're quoting Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer now?"

She giggled "Maybe"

"See this is why I love you"


	6. Chapter 6

**Dawson's POV **

"Hey, Severide, where's your roommate?"

"What, you lost your partner?" he laughed

"My what? Oh…my partner…yeah…you seen her?" I asked, not exactly sure why the word 'partner' threw me off as much as it did

"She ran out…told me to tell you she'll be back in a couple minutes" he answered, opening the door to leave the station "I'll see you tomorrow"

I nodded "See you tomorrow"

I decided to stand outside and wait for Shay, even if it was freezing out, figuring if I was already outside when she returned I'd be already be one step closer to dinner, and I was starving. After a few minutes, a blonde appeared. She walked quickly towards me "I'm sorry I got held up…thought I would have been back sooner"

"It's okay" I responded with a slight shiver

"Aww sweetie you must be freezing" she said looking over the light hoodie I was wearing. The weather had been great all day, one of those early spring days when the weather was great during the day, but once the sun went down it was near freezing.

"I'm okay" I lied. A lie she saw right through. She put her arm around me and pulled me close to her body as we walked towards the car.

She planted a kiss on my forehead "Want my jacket?"

"No you'll freeze…I'm okay" I assured her

"Guess I have to keep you warm then" she said taking me by the arm "We'll stay close so you don't freeze to death"

We walked a couple blocks to an italian restaurant. When we arrived she opened the door for me and asked the host if we could have a quiet table so we could talk. Once we were seated and had looked over our menus, I felt a bit of nerves in the pit of my stomach. Now it was just me and her looking across the table at each other, which had been the case many times before, but this wasn't just best friends having dinner together, this was a date. I had first date jitters…which was odd for me.

"You okay?" Shay asked…obviously I wasn't hiding my nerves. _Of course, when was I able to really hide anything from her? _

"Yeah…sorry…new to the whole dating a girl thing" _Damn it, Gabriela, why'd you say that_

"No shit" she laughed "So this is a date"

"Isn't it? I mean…do you think it is?" _Your crashing and burning, Gabriela, what the fuck? _

"It's a date" She smiled "Jesus christ Gab, I would've thought you'd be better at this" she laughed, playfully rolling her eyes

"I know I'm crashing and burning….I usually am better at this"

She smiled "You mean other then the time you tried to kiss Casey and came up with all cheek?"

I laughed, that was the ice breaker I needed. Something to show me that just because our relationship had changed, status wise, our relationship itself was still much the same "That was pretty bad, but it'd be worse if I made an ass out of myself in front of you, so I need to pull it together"

"So let's get the awkward out of the way before we eat so we can just enjoy the meal and conversation after"

"Sure…what's up?"

"Actually I think we talked about most of it between calls today….the only thing I wanted to ask is, to make sure you're okay with this. With being with a girl. I know you said you identify as pansexual…which by the way if you would have told me a long time ago would have made my life a hell of a lot easier…but I know being with a woman's completely new to you and…."

"Shay, I'm positive. This is what I want" I interrupted her "I haven't been so sure of anything in a long time"

"Good" she said placing her hand on top of mine, then continued with a smirk "The other thing we have to talk about….isn't it kinda weird to call the person you're dating by last name?"

I laughed "Sorry, Leslie"

Our dinners took forever to come and once they did the waiter disappeared again.

"Hey I don't have a fork" Shay said glancing around for the waiter

"I have an extra one, I didn't use it yet" I said handing her a fork

"My tongue was in your mouth this morning, Gab, you think I'm worried about catching your cooties?" She smiled

"Good point" I laughed

We kept up the conversation the whole time we ate and shared dessert, then for a little while longer until we felt like we were soon going to be overstaying our welcome. When the check came, she wouldn't let me pay, or even leave the tip. I argued with her about it for a minute but I know its near impossible to win an argument with Shay, so I just made her promise that she'd let me pay next time.

"Next time?" she said, batting her eyelashes playfully "I get a second date?"

I smiled "You get whatever you want"

"We'll see if you're still saying that when we get back to my place after date number three" she winked. That was the first mention of sex by either one of us, and honestly the first time I thought about actually having sex with her…other then when she kissed me that morning and I felt every nerve in my entire body tingle.

"Like I said, whatever you want" I smiled back.

"We'll take our time" she smiled "No need to rush"

I nodded, I knew there was no rush, but it was good to hear her say it. Of course, in true Shay style though, she had to add to it "Normally I wouldn't wait 3 dates, you know…but you're gonna be worth it….at least overall, sexually you probably will need some practice since you've never gone down on a chick"

People with my skin tone aren't supposed to be able to blush, but I was sure my cheeks must have been bright red "Good, keep your expectations low and keep in mind that I'm a rookie"

"The only thing you need to remember is the golden rule of girl on girl sex"

"And that is?"

"Eating a girl out is like driving a car…the minute you stop paying attention you end up hitting the asshole in front of you" She answered with a sly smile.

It took me a second to get the metaphor, but when I did I couldn't help but laugh out loud "Leslie Elizabeth Shay!"

She smiled "C'mon let's get the hell outta here and go make out"

"Shay!"

"What? I didn't say anything"

"You're bad"

"Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea" she said looking me up and down

I rolled my eyes "You're such a dude"

"I'll take that as a compliment, considering you liked guys up till me" she smiled as she got up from the table

"My, my aren't we humble" I laughed, standing up and taking her hand as she offered it to me

* * *

**Shay's POV**

That was that, we had just had out first date. What a freaking crazy day it's been, my entire life had changed in less then 24 hours. The night went great, I could really get used to this. I always loved spending time with Gabriela, but now I didn't have to worry about staring at her too long, or fighting my urges to kiss her and hold her hand. Or worry about holding eye contact too long. Now I could do all those things, but I figured it was for the best if I continued to do my best to hide when I was looking at her ass…or chest. When we left the restaurant she asked if I wanted to go back to her place and watch some 'crappy late night TV' which was exactly what I was hoping for. I didn't really want to go home. I wasn't expecting sex or anything, but I was hoping to spend the night with her. I didn't want to be away from her, and I knew that feeling was going to last for a long time considering I was finally living what I had dreamed of for so long.

"You sure you don't want my jacket?" I asked, noticing she was shivering again as we were walking to her apartment

She shook her head "No I'm okay"

"No you're not" I said "C'mon your freezing…your nose is even red. Before you were quoting Rudolph now you look like him"

She laughed "I'm fine" she lied again. I wasn't falling for it this time though

I gave her my jacket anyway "Here…I'll be fine"

"No I'm okay, you're gonna be freezing, baby"

"Did…did you just call me baby?" I smiled

She giggled "Yeah"

"I like the sound of that" I could tell my smile was probably stretched completely across my face "Now put on my jacket, woman"

She rolled her eyes, trying to fake disgust but the smile on her face wasn't helping her acting "Fineeeee"

"That's my girl" I said helping her put my jacket on "Now lets get the hell back to your place before I freeze to death"

"Shayyyy"

"I'm kidding, jeez" I said taking her into a hug and kissing her on the cheek "I can't believe I just went on a date with you"

"Same here" she smiled, kissing me on the cheek "What a day, huh?"

I nodded "You're not kidding"

* * *

We got back to her place and she offered to make hot chocolate, which I was pretty excited for because I was freezing my ass off even though I wasn't going to admit that to her. I stood in the doorway to her kitchen watching her shuffle around and getting everything together.

"Gab?" My voice was a lot more quiet then I expected it to be

"Yeah?"

"I love you"

She turned around and looked at me, with such a sweet look on her face that I just wanted to squeeze her "I love you, Les"

I closed the gap in between us and wrapped my arms around her and this time she initiated the kiss. It was like kissing her for the first time all over again. I moved my hand down her back slowly and slid it back up under her shirt. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and then the stupid kettle whistle went off.

I looked up at the ceiling after we broke the kiss "Shit"

She smiled at me for a second as she chewed on her lower lip before turning her attention to the stove.

"So do you make gourmet hot coco also like your cooking?" I asked when I finally could think of something other then the kiss that we had just had interrupted again

"Do I make anything half way?" She smiled handing me a mug "Cheers"

"Cheers" I said as we clicked our mugs together "Holy shit that's good….how do you make even that better then anyone else does?

She smiled "I got some secrets up my sleeve"

"Fuck that reminds me" I said putting my mug down and leaving the room to get something out of my jacket. I returned to the kitchen to find her with a confused look on her face

"Sorry…I totally forgot to give you this….I know its cheesy as fuck….but I umm, haven't had a like first date I cared about in a long time" I handed her a rose I had run out to get as soon as our shift was over, almost ashamed of myself for being so cheesy until I saw the smile on her face and the look in her eye. It was like she was a kid on Christmas

She took it and wrapped her arms around me "You're so freaking cute" she practically squealed

"I know it's cheesy…"

"Don't say that" she cut me off "I love it, thank you" she kissed me on the forehead "Let me get some water for it"

I sat down at the kitchen table and sipped my hot chocolate while watching her get a vase and some water. The rose was wilted and bent from being jammed in my jacket pocket so long, but it was cute seeing how happy it made her.

"So do you like keep a rose in your pocket incase you run into a chick and need to pull some magic to get laid or something?" she laughed

"I went to get it after shift, thats why you couldn't find me for a while"

"Aww, Shay…I mean Les, you didn't need to do that"

"I know….I wanted to"

She smiled "C'mon, let's go to bed"

* * *

As I laid in her bed, her head resting on my chest, I couldn't help but think back to how nervous I was about telling her the truth. If only I knew this is what would come out of it, I would have saved myself a shit load of worry and sleepless nights. I could feel her breathing relax and watched her eyes flutter as she was drifting off to sleep. I brushed the hair out of her face with my thumb and leaned forward slightly to give her a quick kiss "Night, Gabby"


End file.
